We started fertility treatment four years ago, and our whole lives since have been dominated by injections, hospital visits, blood tests, scans, invasive tests and operations, with a total of 7 treatments. There was nothing wrong with either of us, but it just wasn’t happening for us.
Finally, in 2009, an IVF worked, but we sadly lost our little boy, Daniel, when I was four months pregnant.
All around me in daily life, and all over the news, people were mistreating their children, or becoming pregnant by accident, and we wanted to scream with the unfairness of it all.
I had to give birth to him naturally, followed by two medical procedures, and as we stood at his funeral service, I thought that there can’t be a God, or if there was, he must really hate me.
We weren’t asking for a big house or car, or to win the lottery, we just wanted to fill a basic natural desire to become parents.
I tried to take comfort in imagining Daniel was in a better place, up in heaven, with my nan looking after him, but I wasn’t sure heaven or God even existed. My friend from school saw what a state I was in and arranged for me to have counselling, which in turn led to an alpha course, which in turn led me in 2010 to become part of the wonderful church family that is here at St John's.
A further IVF later that year failed and even though I wished God had answered our prayers for a child, I had found comfort in now knowing God didn’t hate me, and that he had a plan for my life, and he knows best, even if it doesn’t feel like it at the time.
If his plan for me didn’t include ever being a mummy, then I was really sad, but not as bitter or angry as before, as I had managed to find some peace with it all, and I was glad I had found God at a sad time.
Then in January 2011, we had an unexpected chance for another IVF. My body and both our minds were battered physically and emotionally, but this was our last chance, our only chance, so we took it.
I prayed and prayed, and now I had my new church family praying for us too. A few days before the pregnancy test, I had some worrying symptoms. I burst into tears and prayed, then I suddenly had a feeling that God would answer our prayers, and that everything would be ok this time.
The test a few days later was positive. I was pregnant and I immediately prayed again to say thank you.
I had problems throughout the whole pregnancy, and at times we wondered if we would ever become parents, or if losing this baby too would be God’s will, but I carried on praying, and so many of you here in my church family prayed too.
Our darling daughter was born safe and healthy in 2011 and has changed our lives in the most amazing way. We love her so much and are so grateful for her, which is why we wanted to share our story and officially thank God, and our church family too, for our precious little miracle, who we love more than words can say.
We are so happy that she will get the chance to grow up in such a wonderful church family, surrounded by so much love, including the love of God, and there simply are not enough words to thank you all enough.